creating history myself

2009-10-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

Life only surround with work and those unexpecting, explosive thoughts...

Work is tougher when you don't get the support from your family.
But i am glad that i still have my friends supporting hard behind me... and it should be enough to keep me going...

2009-09-16T00:34:00.002+08:00

今天工作时。。。
突然感觉真的好累，好想哭，好想有个肩膀靠，好想有个人听我发牢骚。。。

但一个人了。。
这次真的感觉了好孤单。。。好无助。

原来就是这样。。：（

好累好累。

2009-09-03T23:28:00.005+08:00

Random updates of my recent life since sept had comes..

sing *wake me up when September ends~~*

Had been working really late for these past few weeks..
work seemed like never ending.
Each late nights, boss will bring me to different plc for our late dinner.. get to explore alot of different plcs and as well learn lots of knowledge and stuff from him. So working late still can get some benefits. Ha.
Another betrayer left me. Janet Lee! Was only informed on her actual last day. Haiz..
But still i wish her all the best!

220809 went trekking with Martin. Nice plc to explore.

2809809 accompany Aud after work to visit her Xiaodidi's cousin newly launched pub at Prinsep st. Met Xiaodidi and his brother and their friends. But I find XDD's brother an interesting guy. No alcohol also can high dao~ Ha.

290809 a suprise celebration for Juan and our gathering. Met up with my Juanie for some praying and shopping. Den to Sunshine Plaza for dimsum with the other gang joining us to suprise her. After food, back to XDD's cousin PUB for chilling session. Had fun with the games and chats... For sure, our gang will nver spiltz. True enough, its really hard for other ppl to join in us cos we are so into our own world. Ha

300809 Met up with WL for movie! Proposal. Sweet and funny movie. :)
Finally able to eat my Mee sua with extra vinegar! woohoo. And thks WL for the treat at Ajisen and movie too. :)

2009-09-02T07:04:00.002+08:00

谢谢姐妹们告诉我。。
Learn from my own mistake.

那天真的好痛。。大哭了。。也发现原来。。我不需要怪自己那么多。

因为我还是相信这，如果真有着那深深的爱，有多么的后悔，你还会坚持下去，毕竟那句话是从你嘴里说出的。。
所以你没坚持。。
你没有真的让我知道，你没有争取。

所以不是只是我一个人画下的句点，而你也有份。

我真的放下了很多。。痛当然会痛。。但痛一次，我成长一次。也会从中上了一课。。。
我觉得这样很好，因为这样我懂了也学了很多。。。

而现在我觉得很好。。其实单身身活真的不错哦。。

2009-08-17T21:55:00.002+08:00

其实不是现在过的比较好。。
只是现在自己的时间多了。。
所以过的方式改变了。

我想这是不能比较的。。
快乐有很多种。
过的好不好也是掌握在自己的手中。。

要相信自己也曾经给过别人快乐时光。。：）

2009-08-10T21:37:00.003+08:00

计划中的24岁结婚，26岁有宝宝。。

有如同事们所说，越早有计划就越不会实现。。
好可笑哦。。

现在虽然有人关心，也有人甜言蜜语。。但什么感觉都没有。。
是怕了爱了吗？
一次的被爱的人伤，一次的伤了爱我的人。。

我要的不多。。只要的是简简单单的爱
一个起床上班时，能互相说早安。
一个当对方工作不顺时，能在末各角落里听着对方发个牢骚，然后说声加油宝贝。
一个虽然都忙于工作时，但简简单单的一通电话，都能让心顺了起来。
一个都能互相爱着对方的家人。

" How much you can trust your feeling?"

2009-08-10T12:43:00.003+08:00

Life is busy with work. Busy till i do not have the time to seriously take in the problems i had with my eyes. Diagnosed with bad eye infection on my left eyes. Can't even see anything with my left eye, very blurred images and my eyes cant even open when there's sunlight. This is how bad it is. Cant wear my contact for 2-3 weeks, i wonder I can be so obedient to follow this instruction. Urgh. Hope everything will be fine. Work will be more busier with more recruitment going on~

ANYWAY~ last friday was a night-out with my colleg. Was slight drunk and add it worse, with my 1st day of red hit. Haa. Pain dao~~ ate 2 painkiller with alcholol. very bad. But overall, did enjoyed myself with the ppl and drinks..

My long weekend is just spent at home! haiz..................................................................
i wan to go out!

为什么都是烂桃花啊！！

2009-08-03T00:18:00.001+08:00

感触真的超过我能承受的了。。。
不应该想太多，不应该听太多。

我只要快乐。。

now is now.
shuxian now only belong to shuxian.
past is past.
i no longer be the past.

2009-08-03T00:02:00.003+08:00

sitting at the bus. music playing in your ear, shooting through your mind and heart.
真的不想下车。。能不能带我走。。

2009-07-26T12:56:00.002+08:00

也许蘑菇说的对。。一定有一方是要做坏人。
在都市里，人人都在戴着面具。。快乐或悲伤都已经不能一看就能分辨了。

你说的对，我不能再说什么话了。我很自私。也只能声对不起。

2009-07-25T11:46:00.004+08:00

Finally my effort, my work & knowledge had been appreciated by people. And the feeling is good. Being appreciated feel so good. Yea!
Had been working pretty late nowadays, but being able to handle more stuff maybe is a tiring process, but ultimately, the result is good, i learn more and feel more involve in the operational stuff. No longer the same old boring working protocol. :)

Back to single. Maybe its time I should really try out what how single life is. Out of sec sch life, attached for 4 yrs, den single for a few months den attached again for ard 10mths.
Like what friends said, maybe I will like being single and enjoy being woo. Haa.. People keep saying, don't worry la.. you should have alot of ppl waiting for u... BUT, there's none leh. haa.
But I think i am getting on pretty well on my singlehood. With my work, my beloved family, my beloved baby yuki, beloved friends and my dearest sisters, Juan and Aud by my side, I am still feeling loved and pampered. :) At least I have them surrounding me, supporting me whenever I fall and feel lost in my direction.

19July09, went to Zoo with friends. Aud, Juan & Senior Martin.
Get to see lots of animals. My fav : Pony ! Otters ! Sea lion ! Penguins ! Elephants ! Cute cute de.
Pic will be uploaded soon at FB. Here will have just a few snaps of photos.

2009-07-23T18:51:00.000+08:00

你撑着雨伞借我那次
已经足够我记得一辈子
我懂後来你不是不坚持
爱情本来就没万无一失

泪水离开了你的手指
那不如让它流在这信纸
我想女孩子最贴心的是
让爱的人选结束的方式

我最幸福的事当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人在左边心口保留位置是最幸福的事

2009-07-18T15:04:00.002+08:00

现在的我只想一个人过着单身的生活。。。

直到我能够知道我要的是什么，不在伤害任何爱我的人。。

大家现在都是朋友。

这样过着看看也不错。。

2009-07-16T20:21:00.001+08:00

My first karma had come yester..

Shld have choose my words wisely.. getting hurt instead. 自己活该

2009-07-09T08:18:00.002+08:00

I must learn to be strong. And hope you will too.

2009-07-05T16:15:00.003+08:00

Simply have no mood for anything. I just wan to hide.

Bought a rose when i am having breakfast with mum today.

Thks mushroom and juanie for acc me yester evening. Always been there for me when I am at 1 of my lowest point of my life. Life will nver be the same without them.

2009-07-04T14:21:00.001+08:00

痛。。是来自于我伤了爱我的人。

2009-07-01T21:59:00.002+08:00

我有感觉到被爱
但他有感觉被爱到吗。。

是我在自私着。。
让你辛苦的爱着我。。。

想到你用心的退让着我的无理
真诚的体谅我的一切
无条件的相信着我。。

而我无理的对你嫌东嫌西
不体谅着你的压力

不知道我的对不起对你还有价值吗。。
但还是。。。对不起
都是我。。。

2009-06-26T07:09:00.002+08:00

this week is a very busy week for both me and Mr.Teo
Every night is a damn tiring night.

Bro & Kx broke-off. Really sad. THou i understand hows Kx's feel.. but i feel the hurt from Bro, cos i've been there. Actually, Bro is a gd guy.. but just dono how to express it out.

Haiz...

2009-06-16T22:46:00.009+08:00

Life is going to be pretty much very hectic for me after this week.. it's been a very stressful environment at work for me recently, preparing new changes of work protocol, taking over mich's duties and undergoing the Dr Bean's frustrating request and talks... glad i am still kicking, feeling alive.

As promise, my Genting & KL trip with Mr.Teo.

Setting off to Genting on 290509 Fri night.
Reached at 300509 Sat 7am. Was raining during the middle of the night, so when we reached Genting, the fog was very bad... and was freezing brrr.... cold...

Played the theme park indoors and outdoors.
Played arcade.
Watched movie, Night in the Museum 2.

Done pretty lots of stuff at Genting, esp walking. haa.. had my share of fun too...

Life is always gd without working.
Haix...

Anyway, back to it, 310509 Sun 10am, we headed to KL. Taking cable at Genting den bus to KL. Was really nervous of the cable car trip. Ha. But it was a gd experience. HAA.

And off we went to a duno what mall for shopping and duno wat street for shopping too. But i do rem we went to Times Square and surprisingly, the fashion there was pretty much updated, saw quite alot of taiwan clothes which i often see online.
Bought few stuff there too.

310509 10.30pm. We ended our KL trip and taking coach back to spore.
010609 8am, we reached spore. Had Mcdonald breakfast before heading back home. Mr.Teo & I completely knock off, sweet dreams. Ha.

Had my happy times there with Mr.Teo and him doting me everytime. Thanks. So after the wkend recharge, it was back to reality. WORK. Suffering ah~!

2009-06-05T23:43:00.000+08:00

Realization.

2009-06-01T14:59:00.000+08:00

back from my trip.
preparing the fotos..
stay tune.

2009-05-28T06:59:00.002+08:00

还没上班，就想到下班

1 more going to person going to leave the team. Si mich lo! Din know she faster than me!
haiz.. work going to be tough again. Taking over some of her management work is scary cos alr overloaded with operational stuff...
New project coming in too, that req devotion to work during wkend. Urgh.
"Everything gona be alright" my head hab been spinning with this sentence for weeks.. thou i know its a lie...
i know i have mentioned million times of hating my job
i know i have said billion times of scouting for a new job, but blame it on my laziness..
i think.... i am scouting for a new job again!!! With more determination. :)
But this would have happen after my short trip and rest with Mr.Teo.

Had a very last min of arrangement to Genting and KL this wkend with Mr.Teo.
Badly need a rest and he suggested that the nearest we go is to Genting and enjoy their cooling weather then a trip down to KL for some viewing and shopping. Haa.

Another Sept trip goin to be cfm soon... as well as my fav BKK trip too.. Urgh.. if only i can earn big buck and shld have force myself to have saving.. than I can just throw this job aside and have a damn gd rest..

2009-05-22T23:01:00.002+08:00

In the past, I always thought is the other ppls at work tt are affecting me to have no motivation, no reason to stay on.....
But today, I realise, the reason is not the others but just ME. Myself.

Took a longer bus ride home after work. Think alot. Took Yuki out for stroll. Think harder. Me, Myself is the actual reason tt I am really not behaving so enthu like before.

Fark. I hate my work.

2009-05-17T22:22:00.003+08:00

Last friday was Ni last day @ work.
This, our 1st and last clinic team group foto.

2009-05-17T20:07:00.001+08:00

He's out for frend chalet.
POke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-15T08:00:00.001+08:00

For you, dad.

再一次拥有 - 龚诗嘉

我想念去年的冬天　
下着雪的那一夜
你给的温柔　
紧握的双手　
温暖整个寒冬

失去了曾经的拥有　
在你离开以后
带走了笑容　
只留下寂寞　
忘了幸福是什么

没有你的夜　特别的漆黑　
只能闭上双眼去感觉
没有我的夜　谁在你身边　
代替了那个从前

能不能再听一次你说爱我　
回到还在你怀里的时候
能不能让我再一次拥有　
曾属于我的温柔
能不能让我再一次拥有　
曾属于我的温柔

2009-05-15T07:03:00.002+08:00

14th May 09 (Thur)

Skipped my medications and i had fever again. :(
Felt so terrible when im on my way hm from work. Face was red due to the fever.
Once again, neglected Mr.Teo.
I think i this whole week did not acc and hear him talk much except for some of his updates of his work...

Mr.Teo, i promise i will take care of myself, make sure i fully recover from this idiot sickness, and i will go through ur appt bk and slot in my date with you... :p

2009-05-13T22:32:00.003+08:00

12 May 09 (Tues)

Had a high fever of 39.7degree.
Mr.Teo acc me to Dr. Sick leave for 2 days.
Scary day.
1st time feeling so bad.. and at a point of time, my hands & leg totally went numb. scare to death
cried. throwing temper at Mr.Teo whose trying hard to lower dwn my temperature.
Really had to thks u, my Mr.Teo. *wink*
And had my review for my ultrasound which i took a few weeks ago for my long term chronic menses pain.
U/s result turns out to be normal. :)
No tumor. No cyst. It's due to hormones only~ which i have to keep taking ** pills for my hormones.......................... like old woman like tt.

13May09 (Wed) Today

Planned to work but flu, sore throat and fever still hanging ard me.
Fever on and off again.
Mr.Teo visited me again and nag me for skipping 1 course of my medications. *keke
took the meds with him feedin me.. and off he go for his work again.. :(
And again, thks u, :)

2009-05-01T19:45:00.008+08:00

Randomly

I'm back.
Finally decided to do a overall post of my recent life.
I'm really neglecting my blog too much.

Life is going on pretty well.

Celebrated my bday with my bunch of wonderful friends @ Cafe Del Mar & Alphs.
Was really happy to see JY & CW & Wei there.. and Wei is having her 2nd baby boy! Super happy for her. Saw fang's bf too. *keke* Love my present too!
Chilling with CW, JY & Aud was great too. Drank and talked, heard their honest opinion and advice for me. Glad to have them cos they really understand me well. =)

And with Mr.Teo @ Yakiniku Daidomon Japanese BBQ restaurant.
Lovely suprise with him picking me up with a big box filled full tibits and another great dinner suprise too. <3 And Mr.Teo bday @ East Coast Park.
He decided this cos I never been there b4. =)
And it was a great time there.... <3
And as usual, my baby Yuki cheering me everyday, every moment...

Work is still the same. Pi la pa la 9am hello work.. pi la pa la 6.30pm byebye work. Even lunch is the always same choice... haiz. screw work!

Forgot when was this. Attended my Secondary sch Carnival. Saw a few tchers.. sch changed alot. Don really recognize. A different experience..

Also forgot when was this. Went to a flea market @ a forgot-where place to look for Aud with Mr.Teo. It was packed hot! even thou it was raining heavily. Bought few stuff there too. And dinner was the Hey Hot Pot @ Paradiz Centre. Expensive but service and food are great!

Will be continue..

2009-04-11T00:58:00.001+08:00

感觉很不好。。。

痛。

泪。

2009-03-17T23:18:00.001+08:00

feeling slightly disappointed. But this is what i feel now. tml wake up everything will be fine.

headache. tire. don wan to think anymore.

here, bye.

2009-03-02T06:52:00.002+08:00

i cant believe that i fall asleep.. [sad]

meant to give BOYfriend a call in the middle of the night, surprise him hard so he can be more awake to study.. but but useless me fall asleep like a pig. [disappointed]

Feel that I din do much to help BOYfriend in his exam recently. Feel so useless. I can only keep sending him jiayou sms, nag him to rest if can.. tts all!!! [haiz]
Fark. Lousy me! [boo] [sad]

Why i am so tire easily recently.... i think i need a day when i can slp and nua on my bed the whole day. Tts probably will b enough rest for me. I can be suddenly very moody too. FOR NOTHING! [haiz] wat happen to me? Fanny Ma Shuxian??!!!

[haiz] back to prepare for work. Ciao.

2009-03-01T00:57:00.002+08:00

i love the way you tidy up my bed [smile] when i am away.

Muack!
Thanks BOYfriend !

2009-02-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

可能自己也真的累了。。。：（

坚持！！

2009-02-28T00:30:00.003+08:00

今天听着歌。。等着男朋友。。
突然觉得好累。。不知道是哪里的累。。

好担心他。。
不能给他压力，不能让他担心..这几天这些一直一直的在脑海里绕。。

我相信他是可以的。。但很希望他不要给自己那么多的压力，可能放松自己东西也就可以读的顺，看的东西也比较清楚。。也会慢慢的知道自己要的是什么。。自己也就不会那么容易后悔。。。

我也要坚强。。不能当个累赘品。。这个时候他比我还要辛苦和压力。。
坚强啊！！

男朋友，加油
女朋友，也加油。。。

2009-02-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

人群中哭着你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了你已经决定了

你静静忍着紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜就是越伤人
越是在手心留下密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

这世界笑了于是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则不是你的选择
于是你含着眼泪飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞地走着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左侧却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了然后才后悔着

你不是真正的快乐
你的笑只是你穿的保护色
你决定不恨了也决定不爱了
把你的灵魂关在永远锁上的躯壳

你不是真正的快乐
你的伤从不肯完全的愈合
我站在你左侧却像隔着银河
难道就真的抱着遗憾一直到老了

你值得真正的快乐
你应该脱下你穿的保护色
为什么失去了还要被惩罚呢
能不能就让悲伤全部结束在此刻
重新开始活着

My life is so screw...
我根本都不知道我快乐吗。。快乐是什么。。。我忘了吧。。
I duno what gets into me now...
现在的我只想喝到不去想任何事。。好好的睡个觉。

我的胆变得更小。。一点点的伤，一点点的怕，都斗不过。
以前的勇气都跑去哪了。。。

2009-02-07T20:43:00.002+08:00

如果真的还有力气。。
我们就再加油。。
至少我们有努力过。。
有努力的结果会特别有满足感，特别的甜蜜。。

如果我带给你是痛苦。。。
就放开手吧。。。。
再伤害对方。。。只有两败俱伤。。
再有过的甜蜜，也是变成痛苦。。。

我知道我做的还不是非常的好。。
我知道偶尔给的理由，你是勉强的接受。。
我知道我付出的，一定没比你的多。。

我。。。。。。
我真的不知道了。。。

2009-01-20T12:58:00.002+08:00

Here I am in the office... after a long weekend of rest...
What can I say.. i simply hate this office.. Ha.

No passion, no motivation, no nothing.
I learn to work smart now.

1) Never chiong for work
2) Act busy when only VIP around
3) Do things slowly. As slowly as possible.
4) Have to act pathetic, pile up with work, while you are not.
5) Be ONLY helpful when VIP, boss ard, only when necessary, otherwise, close both eyes.
6) Be more political.
7) Learn the art of tai chi~
8) Or maybe.. table make it as messy as possible.. means you are damn busy.

The important 8 points i have to try to make myself achieve it~!

2009-01-12T22:50:00.002+08:00

i lost my enthusiasm in my work. No sense of belonging. No mood to talk. Dread morning waking for work. ONce reached office, wishing the time will be 6.20pm immediately.
Thanks to Mr.Teo surprise email to me today. Happy till my heart aches from missing him and cried, yearning for his presence beside me.

I need to overcome this. I cant be like this forever about this job. Haiz.

2009-01-07T04:13:00.001+08:00

2009. Not a good start of my year.
I duno why i have been so easily tired out.... wonder isit physically or mentally..
i just wan to escape from everything. Maybe sleeping for long shld have help.

What happen to me. I fucking hell keep asking myself. I can just give myself a big cry. Go to bed. and tml will be fine. But why m i so fucking awake here!
i wanted to cry badly. but why i have grown not to cry easily, no matter how my heart is aching now.
Seriously, i know this is not me, and when is the actual old me coming back, or she's not coming back cos as time pass, as i grow older, the new me had overtake the old me.. and turn me to a devil cold cow.

I still need alot of time to know you.
Looking at you going through so many rough times.. i know i have to be there for u.. no matter wat...
I always wonder, am i a jinx to you. y is like all the worse scenorios can keep falling on you ever since i am with u...
But again, i know deeply, i am stupid without much knowledge or finance to help you, but i HAVE to stand by u.
But it seem like i am trying too hard. I tout i had give the 'respond'. but seem like you think its not. I thought that even i had no mood, i can just be on the another side of the phone hearing you out, it could have just be enough. i tout a listening ear shld have been just enough.
Ya, probably its me, who the hell ppl wan to hear a fucking monotone voice when u feel down. ya. who will?
i think i mess it up.. trying too hard.

ps: the more confident you're of yourself, the more stress i am having.

2008-12-31T17:36:00.000+08:00

sad...
feel so useless.. :(

my last day 0f 2008...

2008-12-25T14:16:00.003+08:00

i dun understand me.

i wan to ...... so badly....

2008-12-15T18:40:00.002+08:00

I am in the office now. Waiting for Mr.Teo to come over. =)

My whole body feel aching and sore. :(
AND i just cant stop eating today.. start eating non stop since morning...

eh.. think Mr.Teo lost his way here. HAHA.
Gotta pack soon.

Well update again. *muack*

2008-12-13T19:23:00.001+08:00

29th Nov 08.
Gathering with Polymates/Pre-celebration of KF bday @ Scarlet Hotel & Work.

Work 1st.............
den rushed down to meet the poly guys @ Scarlet. :D
Everyone looks great !
Pretty disappointed that i din manage to see some guys attending.. Anzai, Yilong, Jackson&gf...
cos forgot to inform them.. Ha.
But anyway, I FINALLY manage to see my gang!! KF, Dage and of cos Beebee!! So happy~~ la la la...
But tt night wasn't really comfortable cos of my term perm hair. Don feel comfortable with it.

They don have any after-dinner programme, so in the end, I went Mr.Teo's house. =)

BIG Thanks! to KF for the wonderful treat. Food is secondary, but to see u guys doing great... feel so happy!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
6th Dec 08
Mr.Teo's friend solemnization.
Meetup with Mr.Teo @ Hougang Mall 1st and waited for his frend to fetch us.
Witnessing other ppl starting their new chapter of life is always sooooo heartwarming.
*smile*

After that we took bus to CCK Lot 1 !!
GOsh! Changed so much. Beyond recognition. :(
Regret moving out of CCK. There's so much stuff there!!!
Did not walked much there cos most of the shops are closing le.
Bought some snack, MOS milk tea.. and took bus home.

PS: I really don't know how to tell you that... thanks for always been there for me even sometimes how hard i had hurt you and push u away. Your advice, your opinion, your thoughtfulness... thank you... Mr Teo.

2008-12-12T15:33:00.002+08:00

I know all my posts are abit out-dated. All these had been saved as draft cos i had no time to seriously edit them for posting.
I am trying hard to catch up the time too before 2008 end. :)

22th Nov 2008.
Nothing special. Haa.
Went down to Mr.Teo's event and had lunch with him.
Finally saw his Bosses..... collegs and NiNa and ND Chua... keke...
V.cute ppls.

Went back home to change my shoe and wear my lenses.
Got the chance to take fotos with Mama before she leave to attend a wedding dinner. My gorgeous mama.

And back to Suntec to meet up with Aud for her "food tasting" sch project @..... *drum roll*
Xin Wang again. -__-"
Haaa...
Waited for Mr.Teo after his work.

2008-12-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

15th Nov 2008
Another collection.
With Aud. Our 1st bond.
The initial plan was to touch up my Unicorn too. But due to the little time left cos of the busy schedule of Sue, I proceed to do my new tattoo first.
Both will be touch up in a month time. Hopefully before xmas or CNY.

Went to look for Mr.Teo @ Suntec Convention. He's having 10 day event over there.
Had dinner with Aud @ Xin Wang and she being sweet enough to acc me to wait for Mr.Teo to finish his work.
*Muack* to Aud !

I am still not satisfy with my new tattoo. Find it abit too thin compare with Aud. Will have to ask Sue to do something when she touch up this and my UNicorn. I desperately need my Unicorn to be TOUCH UP !!!
Appointment!!!

2008-12-07T00:18:00.003+08:00

马淑贤　！！　你到底要的是什么！！

我可以不去想了吗。。　我不要伤任何人。。　特别是你。　

我好怕，好怕我又说错话，做错事。。
你给我的每份爱的点点滴滴。。我真的感觉得到。。　

是你吗。。。。。。。。。。。

我还想真的每次都在伤害你。。。　

2008-12-06T16:12:00.002+08:00

These is really getting into me.
现在的我，是真的准备好了吗。。。　

当爱一结束，你发现原来你一直以来都真的根本不了解他。。好恐怖。

今天的你，问了我。。
让我突然醒了。。　
其实我还没真的放下。
对着你，我还是会想着以前。
我真被吓倒了。。

如果我是真的放下，我不会在意他对你朋友说了什么。。
如果我是真的放下，我不会时不时的说起我和他的过去。。
如果我是真的放下，我就能大大方方的接受你对我的爱和疼。。
如果我是真的放下，我就不会这样了。。

你说你恨自己问了我。。
请不要。。因为你有你的权力和理由知道。
他说了什么，你听了什么，外面传了什么。。你问了我什么。。
我也回了你。。所以不怕什么。　
我不知道，原来我的在意会让你觉得怪怪的。。
而你为什么会觉得怪怪的，我也不知道。。。。。。。

我常说我们真的太快了。。
也常问自己，我真的准备好了吗。。　
我是真的对你不公平。。　超级不公平。。
好几次真好想放手，让你有更多的机会。。　但最后还是被你来了回来。。。

这几个星期，我真的好累，这种累和压力我也真的快受不了。。　
原来真的好难让两边都开心。。
让一边快乐，就是让另一边失望。。　
当我觉得这是应该可以的，但现在最后还是做错了。。。

她又对我失望了。。
天啊！
我真的累了。。。　不想再去想了。。！

　

2008-11-28T11:48:00.002+08:00

You used up your last money to buy me my fav orangie
You walked such a long way to pass it to me.
And to give me the hugs i needed most for that day.
U don't demand me to give a reason to you y i off my hp and y i feel so emo.

How can I thank you for such pampering..

Mr Teo. Thanks. *muack*

2008-11-27T15:48:00.001+08:00

When i wrote this date...the 3rd time.. i realise.. today was the day...
i tried so hard to force it out of my mind. But i still ended up being emo in office.
Hated it. Wanted to call BB so much.. but my hands just couldnt move.
In the end, i switch my hp off.

Each time when I suddenly realise i needed him, i fall deep in him..
I pull myself out. I call for a stop.
I duno why.
Yes, maybe i am scare. I scare i hurt him in the end. I scare i hurt myself.
I can afford all kind of hurts in the past.
But now... i duno why i have become such a coward.
I just keep hurting him unknowingly.
Fark. I hated this.
I hate all this.

2008-11-25T05:26:00.000+08:00

Its the first time I saw u looking soo upset on me.
Frankly, I wished you sound more angry on me than u looking so pale and sad.
I hated myself for just brushing u off when u just wanted to let me know, u care and you wanted the best for me.

Maybe I really lost myself this time round.
Everything just really went so fast...
and ya, mayb tts y.. i not not thinking and handling it well with my head now.

The words u told me. I promise i will remember and think properly.
I respect ur decision and hope we will prove u wrong in times come.

I shld be thinking as the old Fanny Ma Shuxian. C'mon think well!

2008-11-18T02:01:00.007+08:00

13 November 2008.
My Day with BB.

Actually took leave on this day with BB cos he's gona have a busy weeks later on.

I had my day started with BB cooking breakfast for me the 2nd time. 1st time was he had actually caught me by surprise when he showed up with his home-made burger for me to bring to work. :) and him, not slping the whole nite after a chalet. -.-
The breakfast was great!!! And it comes with my fav ORANGIE. Perrfect ! *wide smile*

My plan for the latter day. 1 day. 2 movies. Keke
Madagascar was great!! Kept luffing.
Quantum of Solace. Disappointed. At a point, i fell asleep on BB's arms. Ha.
Walked from Marina Sq to Clarke Q, The Central, in between our movie break.
Mission, to buy everyone fav choc roll!!! Bought for BB's family, which they like it v.much when i gave them eat the 1st time. Gee.
And ya, we settled our dinner @ Waraku !
Food taste fine fine only. Mayb i get the wrong dish.. :(

Walked back to Marina Sq again for the 2nd rd of movie. I like to walk with him. Get to see many stuff that I always din get to see and notice. I love..

After the last movie, went back to BB hs to collect my lappy back hm and for BB to settle somem work stuff and also! pass his mum the choc roll. (BB so called - BRIBE - ing) -.-
When I was at BB hs in the morning, I saw 2 of his darling sisters. Cute!!!!!

Shan Shan & Weiwei - Cute hor!
When Shanshan ask me abt my tattoo, my hair color, did i smoke....
i was like soo -.-" Scare i portray as bad bad girl... which i seriously NOT!!! :(
So i pray hard.. both of them likes me..
Weiwei ish cute, when she keep asking me wat m i doing when i was applying make up preparing to go out... i don even know how to ans her.. so i went -.-" once again. Ha.

Saw BB's mum the 1st time and the very first remark is "U so tall !!" Okay. So i went -.-" once again. Haa.
Anyway, i really hope i can erm.. at least put some gd impression on her on tt day. At least some, pls. Haa..
Talked and played with Shanshan & Weiwei when BB is busy with his work stuff. Shanshan gave me a box of stars she make herself.. GEE! I so happy lo. Ha.
And Weiwei was so cute with her singing the ABC song for me. Haa.. KOR AI de!!

BB came over to join us after his work and there goes their pillow fight. Ha. Very funny, very cute! Witnessing BB tt close with them, make my heart goes feeling so sweet. I like the way he handle and play with them. Mature but yet still close to them. Very close. I like...

The fotos BB took when I am trying hard to avoid him taking my face. keke.
I like the fotos he took. Nice.

To you,

Thanks for loving me. THanks for pampering me. Thanks for everything u had done for me. You do make me feel different. And I hope I had done so to.
*Muack*

2008-11-17T16:37:00.000+08:00

November 2008 !!
Time passed sooo sooo fast!

NOVEMBER UPDATES COMING UP...

07 Nov 2008
Girls Night Out @ The Arena & Double O

The night is fun.
Went to The Arena to find Juan 1st. Live band and music is great. But from what we see, the dance floor was... *HAAAA*
Anyway, saw Juan's collegs too. Quite a friendly bunch of ppls.
Den walk to Liang Court Mcd for some light snack cos I AM HUNGRY, drink without eating.. :(
Walked to Double O. Saw werid werid AngMoh.
Den met-up wit BB and his frends @ Double O.
Saw KL there, he's still the same.
Glad to intro BB to my ladies. Even more happy, they all so far had gd impression on him.
Keke..
Den we had some girls-chat.
Met-up with BB again for Bak Gu Teh, which I think i am the only 1 drinking. -.-"
And with BB sending me home. Talked till ard 6am and had breakfast after I complained of my gastric pain.
Was nagged terribly by BB :(

BUT !! I feel blessed hanging out with my ladies and getting love by BB

2008-11-16T15:17:00.007+08:00

Too much to blog..
That's the problem when you become lazy to do regular updates.
Will start on things i can remember...

For October 08!

10-Oct-08
Steamboat / Chilling session with JY, CW, Juanie

Steamboat @ our fav "Xian de Lai" & chill @ Alps reco by JY.
I have my fun with my guys... as always.. :)

14-Oct-2008
Aida - House warming / Hari Raya / See Baby !!

Went over after work with collegs...

It was fun. Baby is cute! The kiddy boy is cute too...
And this lady is younger than me and she had 2 kids alr!!!!! haiz.. tell me wat m i doing?? :(
Have more interesting and crazy pix with Hotmama.. just waiting for her to send us.

16 Oct-08
Farewell party - Karen left Co.

25-Oct-08
Fang's Bday celebration

-Will update pics here soon- :p

31-Oct-08
YR Wedding dinner

Love them soo much. Cute & funny couple.
Stayed quite late for the sake of my "ah jie"
acc her, the groom is dead drunk on tt day. Poor man, vomit like siao..

More updates to come~~

2008-11-16T02:05:00.002+08:00

my first time feel so sad...
i understand u doesnt mean tt..
but... but i just felt it...
mayb i just took it too hard..
althou i know, i understand... but...

mayb the words just din really describe wat it means...

"i just wanted to do tt, tts all. simple with no intention"

2008-11-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

22 Oct 2008
I started a new chapter of my life with a special someone...

10月22号2008
我开始我新的生活。。。

虽然偶尔还不习惯他对我的好。。觉得一切来的太快。。
但我还是很庆幸有了他在我身边。。

谢谢你。。：）

Thanks him for the understanding.
Thanks him for the perseverance.
Thanks him for showering me with his love.
Thanks him for pampering me.

2008-10-29T17:41:00.000+08:00

**I'm in office right now.. haaa bleahx! *
* To you... :) *

Now, I don't want to lose you
but I don't want to use you
just to have somebody by my side.
And I don't want to hate you,
I don't want to take you
but I don't want to be the one to cry.

And that don't really matter to anyone anymore.
But like a fool I keep losing my place
and I keep seeing you walk through that door.

(Chorus)

But there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust.
There's a reason why people don't stay where they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just aint enough.

Now, I could never change you
I don't want to blame you.
Baby, you don't have to take the fall.
Yes, I may have hurt you, but I did not desert you.
Maybe I just want to have it all.

It makes a sound like thunder
it makes me feel like rain.
And like a fool who will never see the truth,
I keep thinking something's gonna change.

(Chorus)

And there's no way home
when it's late at night and you're all alone.
Are there things that you wanted to say?
And do you feel me beside you in your bed,
there beside you, where I used to lay?

And there's a danger in loving somebody too much,
and it's sad when you know it's your heart they can't touch.
There's a reason why people don't stay who they are.
Baby, sometimes, love just ain't enough.

Baby, sometimes, love... it just ain't enough.
Oh, Oh, Oh, No

2008-10-15T23:57:00.001+08:00

其实笨一点，被爱也是幸福的

好痛。。我已经让自己笨了很多了。。可是痛是双倍的

2008-10-13T23:14:00.002+08:00

I think i reached to a decision. I really hope i will NOT regret. Perhaps, the power here is soo strong to have me moved.

Sometimes, i really think i am being really unfair to you. Your care, your sincerity, your way of making me laugh, your way of showering me with all those sweet gesture, the fulfilling promises..
i am just scare i don't deserve all these from you. i am not used to it for such kind of pamper.
I know i had said a million times to u.. but i really hope everything can be fair to you.
If the day where i had totally get over him, i know who can i look to if he's still single. Ha. But as i said again, if there's a better catch out there, grab it.

2008-10-12T01:42:00.003+08:00

I wanted things to be fair to everyone.
When I think about it, I duno i have been fair to you. I hope I am not wasting anyone's time on me.
Cos seriously, i am still confused.

等待不是一件好事。。
如果有更好的，一定要捉紧
我真的不想浪费任何人的时间在我身上。。
因为我怕对他们不公平。

**Updated**

XM said I am scared.
Ya, I am really scared. Ha.
But i will be fine.

2008-10-10T13:59:00.000+08:00

i think i forever is not ready to meet him...

2008-10-10T12:22:00.002+08:00

Decision still not out yet. It's getting tougher to think abt it now.
It's just not so simple to give a nod and packed my bag and say bye to so many ppl who cares for me.
I dunno i can just live alone, slp alone, think alone.. but on the other side, its a gd opportunity for me.. for me to start fresh...
i hope... i.. got the kind of courage..........

I have been thinking alot.
And thinking kinda kills me badly.

其实变了单身，看到的事还真多啊。。
原来我一直以来都躲在壳里！乌龟耶。。

我想我有比以前看的有点开了
现在的我只是不知道要把你放在我心里的哪个位置
要把那种爱如何变成让我更懂事。。。
五年里的习惯，我会把它变成我自己的习惯
五年里的爱，我会把它变成对自己的爱，爱自己更多。。

2008-10-08T05:38:00.002+08:00

Have to make a very impt decision by end of next week.
**seriously i hope i really can make a correct one**

I am having bad headache now. Without the pills, i am just a zombie. panda zombie perhaps. Ha.
I know i shldnt be relying on them, but 3 consecutive of late nights, my health dropped.
My appetite was halved and i cant think well. I need the pills. And tonight, i dropping them down my throat.

Kx told me some shocking findings she had. Pretty disturbing to me. I tried not to side on Bro too much, watever if it its true, afterall, he's still my bro. Kx is going through a bad time too. Basically, i think everyone in the house are wearing mask now. Happy fake smile mask. Smile and luff at the living room, bt back to our own room, EMO ! :(
In fact, ya, i am very worried abt both of them, stuck in the middle, this is the additional stress on me.

Yester is YUki -baby bday. 1 yr old. Fast huh. Big girl le. And she olmost got a another new toy, Ha. By WL. Managed to stop him. Too much toys for this little spoilt brat. And with mum screaming on the amount of toys Yuki have, WL, i prefer u treat me eat. Ha.

Prepare for work!

Ciao

2008-10-04T22:14:00.002+08:00

Just to let u guys know more about Unicorn...
The meaning behind this gorgeous "animal"

Fierce yet good, a symbol of strength, endurance, agility, perseverance, wisdom and playfulness, Unicorns are selfless yet solitary, a wild and untamable animal symbol of purity, hope, love and majesty, grace, finesse, and unconquerable nature.

In the Middle Ages, the Unicorns are the symbol of purity.

In Japan, Unicorns are the Sin-you, known for its ability to know right from wrong and often called upon to determine the guilt or innocence of accused persons.

In China, the Unicorn (Qilin) is symbol of wisdom, and is classified like the king of all animals.

To find the Unicorn again we must unlearn old lessons, seek new paths to familiar destinations, stop and listen to guidance we have ceased to hear and look deep within ourselves for right answers.

2008-10-01T22:17:00.004+08:00

Ok. Ya. My big project is.... getting my tattoo done!!!
Yippy. Will talk about this on my next posting. :)

My post will be the makeover I had with Aud and Juanie on 200908

Basically, we went to Sasa for a free makeover.
Had a marvelous nice chit-chat and photo-taking session with them.
Well, think the major makeover is Juanie.. not much difference is Aud and me !
She look so gorgeous tt day!! *whistle*

Anyway, few pix here.

2008-09-27T12:43:00.001+08:00

Finally. I know you're not worth for me to feel sad.

2008-09-21T23:08:00.001+08:00

I got a big project coming on this sat~
will show u as soon as possible...
keke...

anyway, i had a great time yester with juanie and aud. :)
will post up the pic really soon...

love,
xianz.

2008-09-20T12:28:00.007+08:00

I thought of posting my long expired Bkk trip photos today.
But think I shld just post the latest happening ones will be much more better.

Juanie bday celebration on 070908.
Ppl attended: Wei, Fang, Weina, Aud, Me & Juanie
Location: Raffles City & Marina Square

Juanie & Weina

Juanie & Fang

Juanie & Aud

Juanie & Wei & Me

Juanie & Wei

Wei & Aud

Juanie & Me

Aud & Me - Showing off our "cards" keke

In the cabbie - On the way home

Our watches.....

The girls...... Take 1 !

Take 2 !

Final Take !

Notice why i am always at the left side of the photos.. cos i have to click my camera and run towards them. And all they have to do is to pose, pose, pose and pose! Ha. But i haf great fun.

2008-09-19T07:14:00.002+08:00

Morning!

Just wanna drop by to say thank you to everyone who had help me to jiayou!!
The encouragement I will take in to my heart.

Thanks!!
Muacks.

Love,
Xian

2008-09-15T23:25:00.004+08:00

Good bye.
This time I am really waving goodbye to you.
We can't be friends but not enemies.
When we see each other, a simple nod of acknowledgment will be fine.
I will learn to place you behind me, to be a story that make me grow stronger.

I sincerely wish you happiness, and to you and her, once again, my best wishes.

2008-09-15T17:45:00.004+08:00

"I will be strong"

Today, I saw something. Something that make me went weak and devastated.
But also make me realise something important which make me more determined.

Thanks to Juan and Aud for being with me the very 1st moment.

So I had been dreaming for 3 month. And now, I will be strong. To live in reality.
I know, its not gona to be easy. But I know where I can go to when I fall. And where to cry when I need to.

And here, my best wishes to you and her.

**updated**

Thanks my dearies.
Thanks for being with me the very 1st moment.
Thanks for appearing at my doorstep, giving me the ultimate strength and encouragement.
Tears dropped, but this time round, is for you all, too touched. :)
Thanks for being with my every time i need you.

2008-09-13T01:02:00.000+08:00

HOw are you now?
你现在过得好吗？

今天的我又变得脆弱了。。。
我又想起你的一切。。。

为什么我一个人在难过，而你活得好开心
为什么我一直在掉眼泪，而你的脸是干的
为什么当天的你那么潇洒。。。一点伤的痕迹都没有。。

你真的就这样把我忘了吗？
你有想起过我吗？

2008-08-09T22:39:00.003+08:00

一个人

我好累。。。
今天的我，今晚的我，心痛了好多倍。。
我以为我能让自己过得好。。但心好寂寞。。
原来装的越好，心就越空。。而现在的我，非常空。。

我还在想，想着过去，想着我们的点点滴滴，想着我们对未来的期望，想着你对我说的每一句让我甜在心里。
快要五年的感情，就因没了感觉，累了，就结束了。。。
当天你打了电话给我，说的话，让我不知所措，那些话就不是你以前平常会对我说的吗。。
很努力把眼泪往心里吞，但还是掉了下来，可能心里已经装不下了。。

天啊，爸！给我力量好不好。。。
如果现在有个肩膀靠一靠，那有多好。。。

2008-08-03T18:21:00.005+08:00

我要求自己要很勇敢
我要求自己要努力放开
我要求自己要活得一样快乐
我要求自己不去想
我要求自己不再哭
我要求自己不让心在痛
我要求不让家人朋友为我担心

但要求好累人哦。。
I am really mentally tired and physically tired.
我还能撑多久呢？？

我希望你会快乐。。
我了解没了爱，什么都好难，所以我不强求
但我希望过去的我，有真的带给你快乐。。。

2008-07-17T02:13:00.000+08:00

From 12 July 2008,

I am alone.....

从七月十二号二OO八起，

我就是一个人了。。。

2008-07-01T22:14:00.004+08:00

plan to do some long posting today.
perhaps another day bah...

had been reading "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"
hope i could really learn something and help us...
maybe this is my last hope and chance....

**updated with pix**

My day in office....

2008-06-16T00:16:00.001+08:00

hey guys..

still cant get myself to slp... :(

so popping by to post something out..

okay, i think i forget to mention this..
On Friday the 13... i realise i had lost my mp3 at my office !!!
the mp3 tt Hupapa gave it to me !!
my mood totally went down. deep down!! very deep. :(
i cant believe i lost 2 things tt Hupapa had gave it to me.
1st is PSP and another 1 is mp3 !!
felt sooo soo disappointed on myself.
Hupapa din sound angry.. probably, he's used to it. :(
i hate it man.
tt boody arsehole !!! U RETURN BACK MY MPS CAN ANT !!!

phwa~~ cannot be angry at nite. blood will boil ar!
somemore, in a few hrs time, i will be working with idiot ppls again.

Anyway, Hupapa acc me to PS yester.
Had to buy a bday cake for Bro.
He's having his reservist today. his bday gona celebrate in there.. so sad.
bought him the blueberry cheesecake. :)
and we had the delicious dinner @ Hot tomato
food is good. i like~ we like~
both if us order steak... medium well..
and waa laa~~ taste good. Price are reasonable cheap~~!!!
yaya.. so guys... try there if u can...

as usual, Hupapa mange to "grab" another new Babies to my collection...
not another stitchy cos they haben change new toys..
but i got a elephant !!!!! i call him "pipi"
don ask me why.. haaaa
i gona bring pipi to the office !!! ha.

yeah. pics... btw, the pic of the steak.. it look 80% more delicious than in the pic. hp fotos la. so sorry

2008-06-15T21:07:00.002+08:00

给亲爱的天使爸爸，

你好吗？有多了些白头发吗？有吃的好睡得好吗？
你很不好喔，好久好久没来我梦里了。。女儿好想你哦。。哥也是。
家里一切都好，是你在上天里保佑着我们吧。。
妈妈还是一样为家，为我们，为公，都在忙着。。你一定要保佑着妈妈健健康康。。
最近她身体好像不是很好。。我真的好担心她啊。

而哥哥呢，他的事业算不错了。。我想你一定会很开心。。虽然是打工的。。但赚来的都不错。。
哥真的很努力。爱情也算不错。。。
我呢？还是一个打着一份好普通的义工。现在的我已经迷了路了。。我好胆小，想要换个工都要想东想西的。。好没用哦。。爸，现在的我，真的真的迷失了。。在爱情里，在事业里。。我想我真的迷路了。。每次想起你对我说过，事业要找好的，有前途的，爱情，要找疼我的，爱我的，互相尊敬的男人，我想现在的我。。把全部都处理得乱挤八糟。。。

有对你说过吗，家里有了狗狗。。它的华文名叫做马玉琦。。。 Yuki 。你有看到它吗？我们又带它去看你哦。。它还对你拜拜耶。它给家里带来了许多欢乐，也带进我们一家的感情。。我想你一定会很喜欢它的。

爸爸。。。父亲节快乐。。爱你。。

宝贝女儿，
贤。

2008-06-14T09:45:00.003+08:00

Hupapa wake me up early morning~~
he's patrolling at my block. And surprise me at my door with his uniform !
Ha. Yuki-baby kept barking at him..

Anyway, bought breakfast after taking yuki for a short stroll
my lor mee had no vinegar !!!
aunty forget to add for me !
wtf~~ lor mee w/o vinegar. sucks.

urghh..
will post more later..

i cant believe my lor mee had no vinegar. haiz.

**updated**

yoz guys..
its afternoon.. AND I AM BORED TO DEATH !!!!!!!!!!!!!
mayb i should blog.. login for soo long.. and i just chuck it aside at 1 tab, surfing other websites.
haiz..

am really really BORED !!!!!!!!!!
am hugging yuki baby right now while blogging..
and she's looking at the screen while i am typing..
hi baby! jie jie love u !! woof~ haaa
she's getting big in size..
we have ppl sayin her big in size.. ha
but also a very pretty dog~ cos of her beautiful white soft fur..
as what i said b4.. my family are just so proud of her.
thou, she's kinda stupid sometimes... hur.

and yayayayayaaaaa..
i ish goin to BK finally!!!!!!!!!
excited excited.
woohooo.. tickets booked. hotel settled!
this time with Hupapa (of cos!) hupapa's frend and aud !
forget when ish the actual date liao but all i know ish end of july.. haa.. i think ish 25 July bah..
i just wish time past fast fast now.. i wish for a break!
BREAK. i need it badly.

work is not really goin very gd for me now.
really don like to work with frend..
really don like to work with ppl who are not working at all
really don like to work with ppl that just only know how to play politics only
frankly, i hate to cover your butt for everything
u know what is working?
u ish just lucky to work at this environment.
i cant imagine u working at other co.
u wont be soo free and easy.
wake up la girl.

haiz..
i hated it.
i really need a break. July faster come !!
i just wan to shop it out and go crazy ~

pics pics...

2008-06-13T07:18:00.003+08:00

my bad..
sorry guys..
broke my promise.

to make up for it.
I am blogging while preparing for my work!!!!
if i late ar~~~ haaa

anyway, just a brief update..
meet up with Siling, "dadi" and Hupapa for steamboat after work
not shiok la, the stupid steamboat.. standard drop drastically. So sad.
And ya, "dadi" had a bike license alr.. but had a accident last few days.. :(
Anyway, we went to indulge ourselves to DONUTS ! J.Co Donut and nice freeze drinks !
I am soooo excited after hearing Siling talk about her BK trip
(*oh, i am gona tell u guy y i am soo excited, gona keep it short here*)

After everything, saw ahem, someone with her another someone.. sweet sweet holding hand crossing the road..
haa..
OMG !! my dear.. really happy and excited for you !!
2 girls, 1 down, another 1 to go~~~ woo..

U guys will cant believe where I am now doing the ending of this post...
haa.
I ish a the toliet with my lappy now !!! *shy* *xiu xiu*

Ok, i think tt enough for it now..

give u all same pic to see..
miss ya

Ciao !

2008-06-05T23:13:00.001+08:00

I promise i will be blogging by tomorrow or Sat..

promise...

2008-05-18T19:12:00.001+08:00

felt so emo and frustrated today...
had a big pimple on my nose!!!

fark it!

2008-05-17T13:23:00.008+08:00

080805 - Thursday

Had ask Hupapa to rent a car.
Came to fetch me from work :D
Had supper @ Chomp Chomp with Mum. My 1st time at there.
Night Riding all ard.

090805 - Friday

On leave.
Fetched Hupapa's mum & Dad for lunch at Dian Xiao Er @ Vivo
Our treat for Mother's day.
Glad her mum like the food :)
Went all ard with the car.
Hupapa took me to T3. Not much special. Just like a shopping mall.
Ate my long craving "Popeyes" ! Big disappointment. The meat shrink more than 50% than what i ate 5-6yrs ago. So sad.
And to Singapore Flyer too.
Fetched Bro and kexin ard to look for Bro export Armani Hp set. Everywhere sold out!
Went to FEP and Taka. Shop a little with both guys rejecting everything what we see!
Meet up with Hupapa's colleg for late supper @ Bedok for Ba Chor Mee...
funny and interesting guys.
Bishan's have alot of pretty girls~~~
Fetched CW @2.30am after his work. I miss him dearly.
Stayed @ Hupapa hs.

100508 - Saturday

Woke up early.
Acc Hupapa & relatives to go pray for his grandma death anni.
Car returned @ evening.

110508 - Sunday (Mother's Day)

The whole family (Bro, kexin, me, hupapa)
brought mum a watch~~~
cost a big bomb~! haa.
Anyway, she seemed to like it very much.

120508 & 130508- Monday & Tuesday

Work.
Restless and lifeless.

140508 - Wednesday

Another colleg left us.
:(
Politics again.
150508 - Thurday

Yuki had her first hit.
ahem, i mean her menses....
She's gonna wear a diaper! Ha.
"I'm not a girl~ not yet a woman~~"

160508 - Friday

Saw Xiaomai after work @ Vivo.
i miss u sooooo f.much!
I knew you can make it !
And i also know i will miss u damn f.much if u're going....
But but.... i know tt is always been on ur top wishlist.
All the best, my dear!

170508 - Saturday

Blogging now.
And~~~
I am gonna go for the Thailand trip on late July!!!
woohooo~~!!
Waiting for the actual date to confirm.

2008-04-27T22:24:00.004+08:00

Last month, my life went to my lowest point.
I wont talk abt it anymore.
Just really want to thanks:

Juan - For the concerns and encouragement you gave me thou u have been busy with your exam.

Aud - For being with me.. listening to me. Spending your time with me to eat till you fat.. ha.

Anyway, really appreciate it my dear girls... really.
_______________________________________

Had my gathering with Fun+Dage without XN laz month...
we had our lunch at this Sun with Moon Japanese Dining and Cafe @ Wheelock
I really had to say that their Green Tea cake is simply fabulous~
and gosh, i am still thinking of the cake every now and then !!
whoo... delicious !
well, i had a great time with 2 of my gentlemen on tt day !

And I had been really eating quite alot lately...
dim sum.. sushi.. ramen.... dim sum again... pasta...
this is great! haaa...
shop quite alot..
i could say.. when a girl is down, her wallet is out.. :D
haiz..

well well.... promise will blog more often...
need to get my head on my comfy pillows...

Ciao!

2008-04-06T01:04:00.002+08:00

1.04am.
Wide awake.
Swollen eye.
Blank mind.

Lying on the bedsheet you bought for me.
words are not true anymore.

Aching heart.....

2008-04-05T08:49:00.002+08:00

4 days.

Just woke up by YUki-baby barking.
She want to urine !
Think I only just slept for 4hrs...

Appetite is not gd recently.
Did not eat any dinner. Its just not like me.

Going to meet-up with my poly guyz today..
Miss Dage & Fun alotz.. finally can get to meet them!

Don asked me why I don try to contact him instead of waiting for him to contact me 1st.
I know at this point of time, he think he's right and I think I am right too.
I am lost....

2008-04-03T22:49:00.002+08:00

"Its going to be 2 days we had not been toking to each other..."

My handphone is spoilt.
Went to VIvo alone after work to send it for repair.
Will be living my life without any handphone with me till Saturday.
:((

Shop ard Vivo for aawhile...
Went to pet shop, brought some treats for baby-yuki
Went to Diaso.. brought a windmill to put @ daddy place.
Force back myself not to buy any clothes..

Din have any nice slp at all for 2 nights.
Even how i make myself damn tire and force myself to slp..
But my mind is full of things..
I am really tire....

2008-03-30T21:26:00.004+08:00

Bad news..
recieved a call from Hupapa.
His flight is delayed. Dammit.
I can only see him probably after midnight !!
After my bday !!!!!!!
Sad. sad. sad. sad.
Urghhh..
Just changed my bedsheets, clear all the dust away just to wait for Hupapa to be back here and have his swt dream...
Waiting for you~~ ha.

Anyway, mum just make me a cup of soursop with milk~
it taste extremely nice !
not those ice-blended type.. its just milk mixed with the fresh flesh of soursop!!
great combination !

Watched the Rule #01 with Bro, Kexin & mum on friday.
Other den the weird ending, it can be consider a ok-ok movie la.
rate it 2.5/5.
But.. Shawn Yue is damn cool !

And lately i have big obsession with spec..
bought another spec with Aud.
those old uncle big type frame.. !
But i went hm, kinda regret, I shld have bought another bigger frame one !!
Haiz.. anyway, nvm, this type of fashion spec.. will be out soon de la~ Haaa.

Tml gonna mit up with Siling, CW liao...
long long time have not meet up with them le...
wee weee~~ *grinning*

And b4 I end,
like to thanks again to EVERYONE for all the wishing & blessing & wonderful gifts & cakes !!
Luv you guys !
Muackkzzzz...

Random Picz ......

2008-03-29T00:07:00.002+08:00

' it's your birthday it's your birthday we gotta party like it's your birthday! '

Ha. Am just really very happy now cos i just received a call from Hupapa..!
He's at thailand now.. will be back tonight.. ard 9pm...
Can't wait to see him !!!!

Anyway, just get back from the wonderful time with Aud.
thanks you dear for making the day interesting. Simple but sweet.

I know its just the start of my day, but thanks to everyone who had just msg me with all your blessing and well wishes to me ! And those early gifts to me by you all.. !
Thanks alot !

For now.. Ciao ~!

2008-03-20T13:13:00.005+08:00

I am on leave for 2days since yester
gonna be a long rest for me..

Office had a major turn of management on monday
The baddies got what they want now.
The whole situation had changed.
Hate it.

Received a sms from the new ops manager.
He wanted to talk to me urgently...
Can't even wait for me to come back from my leave and talk.
More or less know what he wants...
But for now, I am not interested to talk to him at all.

Had a great day of slacking at hm with HUpapa yester.
After he went for work at evening..
went to Shaw Plaza with MaMa.
Had the infamous Bak Gu Tek

The famous Wall of fame..

Intially thinking of packing my room.
Althou small... but its damn messy. Ha
But the idea is push off again cos
I just have a urge to go shop alone...
Its been so long to shop by myself...
Gona prepare...

Yuki Baby with Bro's Bak Gu Teh Rib-bone!

2008-03-13T21:22:00.001+08:00

Okay..
I'm not feeling ok at all these few days.
Work is not getting really smooth recently.
Working environment tension is really bad this few days.
Different type of news is spreading all ard.
Different scenes is playing at the office.
Actually, i wish i had not been told of such things is happening / goin-to happen.
If you know more, you make yourself in a very difficult situation.
And to even act like you are not aware of anything is worse than anything.
To make matter worse, my best colleg of mine quitting. :(

To those bitches in office:

NO one had ever asked you to leave. Its you yourself who wanted to act like hero when your fav team manager was sacked. To leave tgt was both u own idea.. Why must you all doing those underhand acts to get the whole office so messy. Frankly, you are not great at all.. ur wrking attitude sucks to core. To bring out others' ppl personal life and plan to destroy tt person and using underhand acts to achieve your farking aim is damn farking unglamorous ! I cant believe you are a mother of two and you are doin those stuff. Karma, i strongly believe.

2008-02-25T21:40:00.002+08:00

Okay. I surrender.
I am farking tire.

Wanted to post something here today.
My eyes is half closed nw.. at just only 9.50pm!!!
gosh.. !
I am really defeated.

*wave white flag*

Ciao !

2008-02-23T20:20:00.005+08:00

Hows everyone doing !!???

CNY is over. Have your fun this year?
Had my usual gathering @ my hs for my poly mates.
Gathering + KTV + movies at CW hs for my sec mates.
Another small gathering + outing + movies @ my hs for my sec guys too.
Ha. I lub to be with you guys !

My first time to Hupapa's relatives hs.
Feel not bad. My 1st time had to rush to so many hs for new year. Haa.

And another 1st time for our family to bring Yuki to granny hs.
Ha. PoPo wanted to gib ang bao to her. So cute !
Anyway... Yuki is good tt day except for being a greedy gal + duno-why-so-many urine on tt day.
Praises of her is all ard. Ha.. We are such a proud mummy,daddy,ah ma, jiejie....

Back to now....
Hupapa is now having majong sess~ion with bro, bro gf (Kexin) and mum...
Left alone again. Sob... haa...
Frankly i like the way my hs is now.. fun and laughter, especially mum.. she's more happy now..
Thou, hs is smaller, ppl living in is more than in the past.. but at least the hs is no longer quiet and "lifeless".
I like it the way it is now.. and i know dad will be happy to know tt too.

2008-02-07T10:24:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys..

Just drop by to wish u all a

Happy Lunar New Year

*Gong Xi Gong Xi*

2008-02-06T00:12:00.000+08:00

Hi Guys...

Its the eve of cny !
Just came back from the night market with mama and bro's gf...
Not much to shop alr... most stall were closed. :(
But i am really looking forward for tml steamboat !!!
eee.... cant wait !

Bought some simply cny clothes over the weekend..
thks aud for her acc on sunday. :)
BUgis is damn damn packed !
urghh... hate it.. especially u can see alot of red clothes selling all ard !
Wat the hell are those stuff !
I had alr overspent my feb expenses...
hopefully i can recoup all my $$ over the cny !! heez..

Time is really ticking real fast....
1 blink, a month past in 2008
another blink, cny coming...
another idiot blink.... age is catching up soon!
haiz... days just seem to pass faster when u reach 21 yrs old.
:(

To my everyone out there..

Enjoy your holi~~dae~!!

muack !

2008-02-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

Tiring week.

Had been bringing work back hm and slept only 5hrs of sleep lately.

This is killing me.

had a stupidest briefing i ever had by my company.

Even take out my after work time !
I wanna be out of there !

My stuff for cny not even prepared yet. gosh..

there's no and not even a slightest mood for cny.

Each year is getting boring n boring....

how how how?

Went to Chinatown with Hupapa on mon...

as wat he said, every yr is really the same old thing..

even the same stall at the same location selling the same stuff.. or even some with the same price !

Cant they do something different?

Will be going out tml with collegs..

hope i can just grab some simple clothes for new year ~!

gona go for some rest !

more updates later. :)

2008-01-27T13:37:00.000+08:00

pocket burned ! *wails*
I din even bought my cny clothing yet.. so sad.
Shop with mummy yester @ Bugis.
Mum spent a bomb on buying lotsa bedsheets..
while i spent on buying lingerie..
baby~~ its just too hard to resist.

doubt will shop for new clothin.
No cny mood at all this year.. wats goin on..?

Tomorrow i will be on leave.
Gona be with Hupapa..
cant wait. *grin*

hmm.. hu papa.. Ha ! I got nag by him now cos of the HU papa name !!
He had olmost everyone calling him Hupapa now!
Haaa... i find it cute leh... but he said it is very stupid.. haa
Don care la.. i find its cute can liao
whahaahaaa

Poly.Guyz..
We will have a cny gathering soon...

Sec.Guys..
We too, our usual gatherinng too...

Plan plan...... !

2008-01-26T08:00:00.000+08:00

hey guys !! i am finally back!

Cant believe i have stopped bloging for such a long time alr.

yo, my frendz... merry xmas, happy new year ~!!! haa.. (belated de la)

I got myself a laptop finally, after my pc failed me the second time.

have been spending my money like nth ever since last nov..

ought to make myself SAVE SAVE SAVE ~!!

Life pretty much the same except i have a newcomer in my house...

a cutie ~~~~ doggie !!

its been like a month since we have her in our life. From a little puppy to a BIG fat, notti monster. gosh..

And ya, her name is Yuki.. yuki-chan...

This foto is taken when she's just 2mth old.

And now, much more bigger. She have every1 dote her like crazy.. I call her BFG = Big fat Girl
Ya, forget to mention, her breed, Japanese Splitz. Saw her adult version around my neighbourhood. 4yrs old.. whoo~ big n furry doggie.

Gtg.. for breakfast~!!

Watch out for more of my post in future !!

Ciao ~!

2007-11-08T23:19:00.000+08:00

Public Holiday !

Plan to do some extension on my hair today...
urgh.. still cant make up my mind to do ant..
so in the end.. stayed @ my roomie d whole day..
Wanted to do some changes to my hair... getting sick of it.
mayb some colors on it bah...

Doing some editing on the Sat chalet's fotos..
not all are with me yet.. so decided not to post it here so soon...

Last Sun met up with Hu papa..
as promise, given him a treat @ PS.
Ordered the wrong dishes..
kinda spoil my mood..

Tues met up with Hu papa for dinner after work.
Jack place @ Centre stage @ Marina Sq
Hu Papa had a complimentary dinner meal course.
The ambience was great !
Food & service great too..
However.. it is ex~pensive de loh..

Yester had a very last min decision for some shopping after work with collegs.
Drag YR along.. haa..
Went to Suntec..
And only had my dinner at 9+pm...
饿死我了 !!
althou din manage to buy any stuff.. and i omost faint from hunger and again order e wrong stuff to eat.. but i have my fun hanging out with Nini and YR

Gotta get back to my beddie.. just realise its midnite !
tml still have work !
So for now...

Ciao, my guys !

*Just get to chat up with Mingfa @ msn.. gosh. glad he found me!